Can You See Me Naked by Adele Green

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Can You See Me Naked

By Adele Green

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Adele Green is a Transformation Specialist, a Qualified Coach, International Author of "Can You See Me Naked": Grow in a conscious relationship & Empowered Women and a Blogger who is passionate about creating resources for transformation for women who search for meaning in their lives.

About The Author
Adele have been in corporate retail business as a professional buyer, founded a private coaching and kinesiology practice and wrote a book about conscious relationships and abuse. Adele speaks out for gender equality and a heart-centred approach to leadership in her blogs, the media, radio and television. Adele also has personal coaching programs for individuals who are facing big changes and want to learn about soul-mirrors in their relationships.  You can join her FREE blogs,  book excerpt, empowerment CD,  or contact her about paid services: coaching, workshops and corporate talks.

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The Soul Purpose of Relationships
January 26, 2015 · by Adele Green · in Concepts (of conscious relationships), Female Transformation. ·

Relationships have an underlying purpose beyond the many reasons we engage in them. Have you figured out what that is yet?

In this blog we contemplate:

   The many purposes of a relationship
   Soul Mirrors
   Soul Mates
   The commitment to grow in a relationship

I have alluded to the soul purpose of relationships so many times in my blogs and my book, that I need to refer to what I already discussed. But when I searched for a title called ‘soul purpose of relationships’ I found no such title, subtitle or blog post. It was a clear indicator that sometimes the most obvious things are invisible. This reminds me that what is simple is not always easy.

I recently read Thomas Moore’s Soul Mates when it dawned on me that my own book Can You See Me Naked was more about the soul of a relationship than communication or the joys of what a relationships offers, as if a relationship is an entity all on its own.

People can have many reasons for a relationship. Most people think that relationships bring us things like comfort, a friend; meets our needs and expectations and we share the chores and responsibilities of raising a family. None of those reasons are wrong, of course. But to want to stay in a relationship when our needs are met, leads us much deeper into understanding the very nature of humanity than we might have realized. Let me explain:

I have had the privilege of having been committed to “I do”, three times. This is deeper than having many relationships. It speaks to the sustainability of staying power and the level of commitment of being in a relationship. Mostly for me, it taught me about who I am. What makes me happy and what I really want to create in my life. If this sounds strange to you I am not surprised, because it is a far cry from what we were taught by our parents about having families.

What I discovered is that relationships have an underlying purpose beyond the many reasons we engage in these.

More than the sharing or having a best friend we can be vulnerable with and love/be loved by, we can really get to know ourselves through our partners.

This is what I learned about myself (for example):

In my first marriage I discovered that I am physically beautiful. This was a big surprise to me because I could only see myself as insecure and undeserving. Only when I could see myself through my partner’s eyes and believe it for myself did I acknowledge my own internal beauty, innocence and physical appearance as attractive. Before then I would dress in a goth style with long dresses and afro hairstyles. I wanted to be invisible so men would not target me and I could avoid being hurt emotionally. I just could not bear being rejected.

In my second marriage I discovered that I could be a supportive partner in life, home and business. I could make babies and I was appreciated for my good grooming. I never wanted to have kids because I thought the world was a cruel place. I learned that I could be the support I wanted and that I was soft rather than hard on the inside, despite my outward appearance. Leaving my marriage meant that everything I did for my partner I had to do for myself too. I learned to accept old baggage like abandonment and found courage inside me to travel the world and explore beyond my insecurities. I did key note presentations and even published a book.

My third marriage taught me more about myself in the shortest amount of time. I learned that being free and being connected to my own source is not something that happens inside me, but it was being lived every day of my life. I discovered that my joy came from giving other women what I was looking for. Beyond sharing what I learned it actually activated me to feel fulfilled and my writing could be done over and over again for its pure joy. My partner became my mirror. When he was happy it reflected my own happiness.

This brings me to soul mirrors. I use to think that a soul mate is another soul from the same soul family. That sense of belonging we feel of being a kindred spirit with a similar soul path is a sure sign that we belong together. But I know better now. The chemistry we feel with those who have complimentary “codes” to our own are certainly indicators that we have a lot in common in our “designs”, but just because we feel the connections does not mean we have to choose them as life partners. Yes maybe we want to, but there are also other reasons to choose life partners. Being conscious and aware, practical and guided by life cycles and needs, our life long partners can be chosen to become soul mirrors.

This is not for everyone, but if you understand that soul mirrors mean we show up as sounding boards for each other in order to GROW and EVOLVE on a soul level, the hidden agenda of soul mirrors becomes obvious.

The best way to explain is with a story: mine. When I met my partner we could both sense chemistry and sparks. But our lives were already in progress and other than the purpose for our meeting there appeared to be no overlap. Our walls were up and our lives continued. Neither of us was even looking for a relationship. I certainly was not. The reason we connected for work came and went. Life continued. When we met again socially I invited him as a client and we worked together once more. This time I could get a sense of him unguarded. But this being work I ‘stayed out of it with my walls well guarded’. The next time we met again (3rd time) as a ‘give back’ we were both unguarded as we were in a spiritual group environment. We apparently shared an interest in spiritual things. This time, quite spontaneously I got a soul perspective of him and he of me. We acknowledged it without understanding and life continued once more. Up until this stage I was oblivious to the plan of my own soul and apparently so was he. This was the point where my heart opened, but my mind fought it for still some time to come. I had internal questions and typical of my ‘rebellious nature’, lots of reasons not to co-operate due to my self-imposed rules. I did, after all, decide to not be in a relationship FOREVER. And the rest as they say is history.

There are some things in life, which are destined. I completely buy into self creation and choices. But part of my journey was learning to surrender and accept that most of the time my mind does not know what is good for me like my heart does. Relationships are not mind decisions. Soul mirrors are not about logic. It is about looking at our partners and seeing what we feel inside in relation to our very own souls.

When I saw my partner and I felt a resistance to be in a relationship with him, I was shown my resistance to be in relationship with the self. When I resisted his advances and ignored his messages, I was resisting loving myself and avoiding feeling what was needed to be in relationship with myself. When I questioned with God why I felt so emotional after what we both acknowledged seeing when we were unguarded, I was questioning opening my own heart again to feel love for myself. The response I got from my question was what really floored me and guided my soul-mirror perspective to this day

   “He is God for you on earth”.

What do you say to that? God is a man in human body. No, this is heresy, right?

This took me further into my own limiting understanding of how the world works for me than anything else ever did.

Jesus tried to teach us, 2000 years ago, that we would later do and know more than he could teach with his wisdom. He could only teach what people could grasp. That will not change. But he also said that he is the Father and the Holy Ghost. Did that make him God? Does it make me sinful by claiming to be God? Was he human? Just who can understand such things? We will never understand this with logic.

Rumi said that beyond right and wrong there is a garden, meet me there. Only in this place of the inner heart can we grasp such things as soul mirrors. Only with pure intentions uncontaminated by beliefs about love can we see agape.

Soul mirrors are simple. You look into the eyes of your life partner and accept that your soul chose this person for you by your own design to help you grow. We can only be seen and heard when we see and hear ourselves. To know if we get it, we look at our partners. And then if we have the courage to go one step further: Change it to show us what we want to see.

I will end with this…

Learn from the silence

At peace with all that is

Time has no significance

Become one with creation

Colours of love everywhere

Even the blind can see

I cannot perceive it

I see only my needs in the shadow

What Would Happen If I Scream?

– Adele Green

Can You See Me Naked

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The Heart Of Writing A Book: What you need to know if you have a book inside you
by Adele Green · in A women's journey, About the Book, Uncategorized. ·

]The heart that pulses a book into being is far greater than the information and mechanics involved when writing one. What you want to say needs to be heard and you better be the right person to say it. If this is the case then go right ahead. In the interest of resources, I wish I had read ‘An Author’s Manual’ from Nina Amir before I created my book, but then I ultimately learned everything as I went along. I only read her book now and found it to be sound and well researched, with all the facts intact. What I share with you here is based on my own findings about what makes a book ‘breathe’.

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Empower Women: FREE CD for safer intimacy
by Adele Green · in A women's journey, Concepts (of conscious relationships). ·

I am on a mission to assist women with information that help them to bring equality more into relationships. I believe this can be done by being conscious. To me this represents making informed decisions. One taboo public subject that comes up frequently in my practice is “the bedroom”: what is permitted and what is not normal. It also seems a timely topic with all the Fifty Shades of Grey fever going around. Permission in the bedroom is so misunderstood. What is my association with a movie I have not seen? Simply a reader of Can You See Me Naked who said that the last book (before reading Can You See Me Naked) she could not put down until she finished it was Fifty Shades of Grey.

Typically one partner controls this domain when not enough information is provided. This then, is my inspiration for creating a short Audio (MP3) to empower women of all ages.

Relationships are often focussed on a physical level. When we get bored with doing the same thing and often a partner is inspired to try something knew. This works if we have consented to it. But sometimes one partner will allow things that they are not ready for. With not ready I mean, psychologically we have baggage or abuse background which makes us bad Guinea pigs. By opening the door to being submissive we bring up old stuff about inequality patterns. How do I know this, because I am often asked what is acceptable and what it not. The truth is that everything is acceptable provided we have permission to play. How we go about it is where conscious relationships come in. Boredom can also be prevented by exploring emotional, mental and spiritual levels of relationships instead of just focussing on the physical domain.

I have taken my belief one step further by producing an audio that is easy to access and FREE for those who need it most. You won’t know you need it unless you listen to it, or listen to it and recognise that someone who once mentioned something to you might need this. Maybe, like me, you can send it to a distribution list of your own. Feel free to add it to your own offering of resources. I have one request: that you send it as a link in order for me to monitor how many people are listening to it. I made it easy and safe for newbies to technology to download straight into their devices to listen to.

   https://gumroad.com/l/empowerwomen

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The Soul Purpose of Relationships
by Adele Green· in Concepts (of conscious relationships), Female Transformation. ·

Relationships have an underlying purpose beyond the many reasons we engage in them. Have you figured out what that is yet?

In this blog we contemplate:

   The many purposes of a relationship
   Soul Mirrors
   Soul Mates
   The commitment to grow in a relationship

I have alluded to the soul purpose of relationships so many times in my blogs and my book, that I need to refer to what I already discussed. But when I searched for a title called ‘soul purpose of relationships’ I found no such title, subtitle or blog post. It was a clear indicator that sometimes the most obvious things are invisible. This reminds me that what is simple is not always easy.

I recently read Thomas Moore’s Soul Mates when it dawned on me that my own book Can You See Me Naked was more about the soul of a relationship than communication or the joys of what a relationships offers, as if a relationship is an entity all on its own.

People can have many reasons for a relationship. Most people think that relationships bring us things like comfort, a friend; meets our needs and expectations and we share the chores and responsibilities of raising a family. None of those reasons are wrong, of course. But to want to stay in a relationship when our needs are met, leads us much deeper into understanding the very nature of humanity than we might have realized. Let me explain:

I have had the privilege of having been committed to “I do”, three times. This is deeper than having many relationships. It speaks to the sustainability of staying power and the level of commitment of being in a relationship. Mostly for me, it taught me about who I am. What makes me happy and what I really want to create in my life. If this sounds strange to you I am not surprised, because it is a far cry from what we were taught by our parents about having families.

What I discovered is that relationships have an underlying purpose beyond the many reasons we engage in these.

More than the sharing or having a best friend we can be vulnerable with and love/be loved by, we can really get to know ourselves through our partners.

This is what I learned about myself (for example):

In my first marriage I discovered that I am physically beautiful. This was a big surprise to me because I could only see myself as insecure and undeserving. Only when I could see myself through my partner’s eyes and believe it for myself did I acknowledge my own internal beauty, innocence and physical appearance as attractive. Before then I would dress in a goth style with long dresses and afro hairstyles. I wanted to be invisible so men would not target me and I could avoid being hurt emotionally. I just could not bear being rejected.

In my second marriage I discovered that I could be a supportive partner in life, home and business. I could make babies and I was appreciated for my good grooming. I never wanted to have kids because I thought the world was a cruel place. I learned that I could be the support I wanted and that I was soft rather than hard on the inside, despite my outward appearance. Leaving my marriage meant that everything I did for my partner I had to do for myself too. I learned to accept old baggage like abandonment and found courage inside me to travel the world and explore beyond my insecurities. I did key note presentations and even published a book.

My third marriage taught me more about myself in the shortest amount of time. I learned that being free and being connected to my own source is not something that happens inside me, but it was being lived every day of my life. I discovered that my joy came from giving other women what I was looking for. Beyond sharing what I learned it actually activated me to feel fulfilled and my writing could be done over and over again for its pure joy. My partner became my mirror. When he was happy it reflected my own happiness.

This brings me to soul mirrors. I use to think that a soul mate is another soul from the same soul family. That sense of belonging we feel of being a kindred spirit with a similar soul path is a sure sign that we belong together. But I know better now. The chemistry we feel with those who have complimentary “codes” to our own are certainly indicators that we have a lot in common in our “designs”, but just because we feel the connections does not mean we have to choose them as life partners. Yes maybe we want to, but there are also other reasons to choose life partners. Being conscious and aware, practical and guided by life cycles and needs, our life long partners can be chosen to become soul mirrors.

This is not for everyone, but if you understand that soul mirrors mean we show up as sounding boards for each other in order to GROW and EVOLVE on a soul level, the hidden agenda of soul mirrors becomes obvious.

The best way to explain is with a story: mine. When I met my partner we could both sense chemistry and sparks. But our lives were already in progress and other than the purpose for our meeting there appeared to be no overlap. Our walls were up and our lives continued. Neither of us was even looking for a relationship. I certainly was not. The reason we connected for work came and went. Life continued. When we met again socially I invited him as a client and we worked together once more. This time I could get a sense of him unguarded. But this being work I ‘stayed out of it with my walls well guarded’. The next time we met again (3rd time) as a ‘give back’ we were both unguarded as we were in a spiritual group environment. We apparently shared an interest in spiritual things. This time, quite spontaneously I got a soul perspective of him and he of me. We acknowledged it without understanding and life continued once more. Up until this stage I was oblivious to the plan of my own soul and apparently so was he. This was the point where my heart opened, but my mind fought it for still some time to come. I had internal questions and typical of my ‘rebellious nature’, lots of reasons not to co-operate due to my self-imposed rules. I did, after all, decide to not be in a relationship FOREVER. And the rest as they say is history.

There are some things in life, which are destined. I completely buy into self creation and choices. But part of my journey was learning to surrender and accept that most of the time my mind does not know what is good for me like my heart does. Relationships are not mind decisions. Soul mirrors are not about logic. It is about looking at our partners and seeing what we feel inside in relation to our very own souls.

When I saw my partner and I felt a resistance to be in a relationship with him, I was shown my resistance to be in relationship with the self. When I resisted his advances and ignored his messages, I was resisting loving myself and avoiding feeling what was needed to be in relationship with myself. When I questioned with God why I felt so emotional after what we both acknowledged seeing when we were unguarded, I was questioning opening my own heart again to feel love for myself. The response I got from my question was what really floored me and guided my soul-mirror perspective to this day

   “He is God for you on earth”.

What do you say to that? God is a man in human body. No, this is heresy, right?

This took me further into my own limiting understanding of how the world works for me than anything else ever did.

Jesus tried to teach us, 2000 years ago, that we would later do and know more than he could teach with his wisdom. He could only teach what people could grasp. That will not change. But he also said that he is the Father and the Holy Ghost. Did that make him God? Does it make me sinful by claiming to be God? Was he human? Just who can understand such things? We will never understand this with logic.

Rumi said that beyond right and wrong there is a garden, meet me there. Only in this place of the inner heart can we grasp such things as soul mirrors. Only with pure intentions uncontaminated by beliefs about love can we see agape.

Soul mirrors are simple. You look into the eyes of your life partner and accept that your soul chose this person for you by your own design to help you grow. We can only be seen and heard when we see and hear ourselves. To know if we get it, we look at our partners. And then if we have the courage to go one step further: Change it to show us what we want to see.

I will end with this…

Learn from the silence

At peace with all that is

Time has no significance

Become one with creation

Colours of love everywhere

Even the blind can see

I cannot perceive it

I see only my needs in the shadow

What Would Happen If I Scream?

– Adele Green

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Can You See Me Naked

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http://www.openmindspromotions.com/adele-green.html

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The Huffington Post



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kerrin-black-/gps-for-the-soul-women_b_5983758.html


South African author of Can You See Me Naked, Adele Green, shared why women making fire under men is evolving relationships as we know them. The change in modern women drives new relationship and business roles. There are more single women with children providing for themselves than ever. But is it elevating society and best for children? Are these women happy? Are they satisfied with sex or do they secretly desire intimacy in loving conscious relationships? Did women just resist an outdated patriarchal system with a well intended matriarchal one?

"Sometimes the deeper we fall into the darkness of life, to the point of abandoning ourselves, the more reason we have to appreciate what was right in front of our eyes. Were we prevented from seeing it before because of our beliefs?"
- Adele Green

Bright but poor, abused emotionally and physically by her stepfather, Adele Green was living with the stigma of her father's suicide that shaped her image as a child. As an adult she was widowed; miscarried three times; held up at gunpoint; divorced and eventually abandoned her life as she knew it. Who was she at 40?

Adele vowed to find herself. She wanted to feel alive or die. She did a fire walk, a sky dive, travelled from South Africa to Peru and then Hawaii as she abandoned all things material. This included her role as a mom, wife, student and CEO of a coaching business. Feeling free was all that mattered as she turned her back on everything that was important to her.

Adele said her dreams became more vivid. Insights came to her as she was thinking about events as they happened. The questions she asked were answered by messages in her surroundings, i.e. looking at billboards; opening a book at random reading a relevant sentence; and when she talked to people she observed certain words that stood out for her. Understanding these messages felt to her like she was seeing with her heart instead of her eyes, and this helped her to feel that she belonged again. Adele recollects: "I learned to trust life again. I believed a little more in me every day as I experimented with the truth, testing my experience of life against my thoughts about it."

Finally she experienced freedom: she was swimming in the deep ocean waters of Hawaii and felt like she was not herself. The sense of her body had vanished and the environment was foreign to her. Without an identity and a purpose, from where she was drifting and looking at the land, she recalls thinking how people's scheduled lives made them slaves to time. In that moment of awareness she was totally free from expectations or concern for a body, time, money, people and nothing had power over clear perspective. As she was swimming she was experiencing all her senses at once. And then she returned to her life, to land and to connecting with her children.

She wrote a book, Can You See Me Naked, to change the male perspective of transforming women and their apparent irrational behavior with a distinct intention to give a voice to women's unspoken need for equality. If reading it validates women, then gifting men with this book offers advice to support women and gives words to the vulnerable feelings stirring inside women as they change. The value of expressing feelings assists to identify what are behind those behaviours. The more women express their truth, the more they acknowledge themselves as being human, equal in gender, proud mothers and leading women.

Adele married her soul mate and started new projects with a voice for women. She has two published books (the second: Empowered Women is co-authored and part of a NY Best-seller series TGI) and hopes to release her inspired poetry from her travels in Peru, next. She teaches women to validate and believe in themselves. She refuses to be a crutch that feeds the very energy that drives their insecurity. According to Adele true confidence can only come from inside and not from reading a book or copy what someone else did. The beauty of women lies in each of them having their own flavor! Therefor she assists women to reclaim what is uniquely theirs beyond their expected female roles. If the beliefs of women come from their past defined by their roles, then they can empower themselves with their past by re-defining those roles.

Breaking out of her old life restored Adele's belief in herself. While her prescribed roles made her forget who she was, the most powerful thing that she did for herself was to lose her identity for her inner feminine to emerge. Now she consciously chose her own maps, roles and destiny as a leading women. What she learned on the way is shared in her books, blogs and coaching programs.

When we first acknowledge ourselves, everyone else also acknowledges us.

Adele' s tips to believe in yourself:

• Don't ask people for feedback, they can only tell you what they know about themselves. You need feedback from people who achieve what you desire for yourself.
• Choose what you want to believe about yourself. Not everything people say is about you.
• If you want to know the truth, experiment with it.
• Learn to trust yourself.
• You are not your past - only this moment. Do not project your future from your past, until you can recognize your strengths.
• Design what roles you want to fulfil in your life and then step into them.
• If you are changing inside a relationship. Remember that your partner is not changing, so help him understand. When he does and know how to assist you transforming, he will be your biggest advocate.

"Men want to support women."

Remember that men cannot read your thoughts. Learn how and what to tell them. Do not withdraw because you feel misunderstood.

There comes a time in every women's life when something triggers her to feel more, think deeper and turn life upside down from the inside out. When this happens know that this is your journey, and not even your partner can do this for you.

Just like teenagers who become adults, women turn from mothers into wise women. But before you turn your life on everything you created, learn how to express your feelings. Not everyone can have an Eat Pray Love experience. But those stories are what inspire modern women to lead, be open to change and possibly even learn to transform inside their relationships. Unfortunately when we resist we also become dead inside. We do not trust our feelings any more. What we avoid as women will repeat itself until we accept the challenge of the emerging feminine to bring back our mojo, or die a little every day.

Adele Green is the author of Can You See Me Naked: Grow in a conscious relationship, Blogger of www.nakedwithadele.com, Executive AboutWomen Coach & spend her time to write and talk about what moves her soul.

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http://nakedwithadele.com/book-orders/

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